"And so the men and women of Plymouth Colony...
"sat at a long table with their new-found Indian friends...
"to celebrate the first Thanksgiving.
"And at the head of the table, the leader of the pilgrims...
"folded his hands, bowed his head and said..."
And then the village idiot interrupted the prayer...
ruining the feast for one and all.
Boy, holiday traffic is starting already.
People are in such a lousy mood.
I learned five new words on the way home.
- Did you know what they meant? - I think so.
They were accompanied by very helpful hand gestures.
Will, I bet you can't wait till your mom gets here.
Yeah. Thanks for flying her out, Aunt Viv.
We had to convince her to accept it. She never lets us spend a penny on her.
Apparently, that's not a genetic trait.
Now, for Thanksgiving...
do you want to try something different or the traditional turkey?
Mother, I have a big problem with turkey.
What's wrong with it?
From the moment they're hatched to the moment they're shrink-wrapped...
turkeys are raised to be food, and nothing but food.
Hilary, I don't think too many of them had aspirations...
to be doctors or lawyers.
My sister should be here any minute. Aren't you excited?
Yeah, I can't wait till she gets out here and starts taking her usual shots at me.
Vi's that way with everybody.
Remember what she said about my beard?
You misunderstood.
She said it made me look like Bigfoot.
Which is ridiculous, because nobody knows what Bigfoot really looks like.
That's her. Come on.
- Mom! - Baby!
Goodness gracious!
Viv, come on, give us a hug!
Look at my boy. You really have changed.
Yeah, I'm handsome.
No, you haven't changed.
I hope he's not eating you out of house and home?
Not at all.
He's certainly not taking any food out of your mouth.
Starting already. I don't believe it.
That's a good one, Mama. I got to use that one.
No, you don't make fun of your uncle. That's my job.
Come on, let's go inside.
- Girl, you look wonderful. - Thank you.
How's everything at the post office?
- They made me a supervisor. - That's wonderful.
Honey, they make everybody at the post office a supervisor.
You practically have to eat the mail not to get promoted.
- Aunt Vi. - My goodness, aren't you handsome?
And looking less and less like your daddy every day.
Ouch. Run for cover, Dad.
Where's he going to hide at?
Vi, this is Geoffrey. Geoffrey, my sister-in-law, Mrs. Smith.
- How do you do? - I'm fine, thank you.
Mom, check this.
Geoffrey, take my mom's bags to her room.
What did I do?
You can take those bags yourself. That man is twice your age.
Even though he doesn't look it.
At least take the heavy one. Now go on.
- But, Mom... - You heard me.
After you, Master William.
Carlton, go tell your sisters their aunt is here.
Y'all tell me, has Will been giving you any trouble?
He's been wonderful, hasn't he, Philip?
Let's just say he takes after you, Vi.
Okay.
Vi, I was dusting the albums this morning and guess what I found.
Certainly not dust.
The Temptations!
Girl, I have that album.
You had it. I borrowed it.
You taught me to dance to this, remember?
I didn't teach you to dance like that.
- Move over, girlfriend. - Look out.
- Aunt Vi! - My girls!
- You look fantastic. - Thank you. Come on. Dance with us.
Here we go. All right. Here you go. That's right.
What dance is this?
It's called the swim, Ashley. It was very popular in the 1940s.
The 1960s, and it's not the swim.
Your daddy knows how to swim.
Come on. Swim for her. Come on, Philip.
Everybody out of the pool.
That cobbler was delicious.
The person that invented the elastic waistband...
should get the Nobel Prize.
- You know what I mean... - Don't start.
Mom, you know who used to make the best cobbler?
Old lady lvory down the street.
- Does she still make it? - Honey, she passed on.
- You're kidding. - Child, she was in her early 100s.
You'd have never known by the way she used to swing that baseball bat at me.
Can we have a moment of silence?
Yeah, well.
Mom, Dad, I have a little favor.
My English teacher doesn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving tomorrow...
and I just thought, since he's all alone, and we have so much to share...
could we invite him to dinner?
Certainly, Carlton. That's very thoughtful.
And not the worst way to pull my grade up to an "A."
This sure was lovely.
- No, Mom, I'll get that for you. - Thank you, babe.
Geoffrey!
Mom, what did I do?
It's all right, Viola, Geoffrey clears the table. It's his job.
You shouted, Master William?
Yes, Geoffrey.
Why don't you have a seat and have some of this delicious peach cobbler...
- while we clear the table. - Don't go through so much trouble.
No trouble at all. Hilary, Carlton, Ashley, and you...
Your Highness, let us all clear the table.
That's a good one.
Honey, do I look like I'm telling a joke?
Not to me.
Don't just sit there watching.
Pick up the dishes and get them into the kitchen.
Now hustle.
Some guest.
What should I do with these bowls?
Just put them in the dishwasher.
Here?
Let's just take them up to Geoffrey's room. He'll know what to do with them.
Lord, have mercy. Just leave them here. I'll take care of them.
Now, go on.
Honestly, I've never seen such a lazy bunch in my life...
and I work at the post office.
- Yo, Jesse! - How's it going, Will?
Mom, this is my man Jesse. He does the gardening here.
- How you doing? - How you doing?
Is your aunt around? I want to know where to plant the bushes.
I think she said she wanted them by the pool.
Could you do me a favor?
My mom really likes roses. Can you snip a couple for her bedroom?
- No problem. - Wait a second.
Honey, don't go bossing him around.
If you want to cut me some flowers, you go get them yourself.
- But, Mom... - Understand?
Okay, I'll cut you the most beautiful bouquet in the world...
but its beauty will pale in comparison to yours.
Don't even try that Prince Charming stuff.
Jesse, listen, it's the day before Thanksgiving. Take the day off.
Thanks.
You going to be around here for Christmas?
Jesse! Good, I wanted to talk to you about the bushes.
We can talk about it next week. Have a happy Thanksgiving.
Is Jesse leaving?
He didn't mow the lawn.
Mom gave him the day off.
What?
It's a holiday. It'll be cool if the grass grows for another week.
No. It's not growing 'cause you going to cut it.
Why me?
You always mowed the lawn back home. I don't see why can't you do this one.
'Cause it's the size of a football field!
Since when do I have to ask you twice?
- But, Mom... - Now hustle.
Okay, but I ain't going to cut you no flowers.
You should have talked to me before letting the gardener take the day off.
It's the day before Thanksgiving.
It was a nice idea, but it's the same thing...
with telling Geoffrey not to clear the table.
I just think that they might feel uncomfortable...
taking orders from somebody they don't know.
And they'd rather take orders from a 17-year-old boy?
What do you mean?
Honey, I don't mean to be critical...
but I don't like what I saw today.
Will's got a bunch of grown men doing all the work he should be doing.
I haven't seen him lift a finger except to scratch his head.
You're not being fair, Vi. Will works very hard at his homework.
Back home, Will did his homework, mowed the lawn, raked the leaves...
and cleared the table.
I don't think a little work around the house is gonna interfere with his education.
From what I see, all he's learning is how to be a rich kid.
Philip and I just want Will to have the same advantages that our kids have.
Isn't that why you sent him out here?
I sent him out here to stay out of trouble and get a good education.
But, Vivian, I also taught that boy the value of hard work...
and I don't want him to lose that.
All I know is the kids in this house are getting a free ride...
a free ride in a fancy car.
But I don't mean to be critical.
- I'm not interrupting anything, am I? - No. All done.
Vivian, since Carlton's invited his teacher...
maybe you should call the caterers and tell them there'll be one more for dinner.
- Are you okay? - I'm just fine.
Do you know what my sister just said?
You are not gonna believe this.
- She said that our kids are spoiled. - News flash.
You mean you agree with her?
I keep saying they should do more work around the house.
- You're the one who's too easy on them. - Really? Does this sound familiar?
"Daddy, I need $300."
You don't have to get personal.
Vi just made an honest criticism. Let's just leave it at that.
You really think I've been too easy on them.
Honey, we're not going to solve this overnight.
Look, let's just have a pleasant Thanksgiving tomorrow...
and we can talk about it after Vi leaves, okay?
Don't forget to call the caterer.
Hello, Sally? This is Vivian Banks.
You had us scheduled for a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.
We'd like to cancel it.
We're going to have the kids make dinner.
What do you mean, good luck?
Will, Carlton, Hilary, Ashley! Get down here! Hustle!
- Did you get the turkey? - Certainly, madam.
Geoffrey, it's frozen solid.
Really, madam? I thought it was just scared.
Mommy, didn't we just have a fire drill last week?
- This is not a drill. - It's a fire?
My God, I'm going back for my new suede boots. Don't try to stop me.
While you're up there, get my lucky drawers!
You are going to cook and serve Thanksgiving dinner.
- How? - Why?
Because you kids don't do enough work around the house.
Excuse me? Didn't I just mow Central Park yesterday?
Mom, my English teacher is coming to dinner.
He holds my English grade in the palm of his hand.
This is not the time for one of your leftist experiments.
Carlton's right, Mom.
This stuff about us working could really wait.
It has a real New Year's resolution feel to it.
I do not want to discuss this.
- Since when do I have to ask you twice? - Every time, Mommy.
Well, not this time.
You've got 15 minutes to get up, get dressed, and get back down here.
Move it!
Instead of doing all this work, shouldn't I be spending some time with my mom?
I mean, she sees me so little...
and I'm growing so fast.
Don't even try that Prince Charming stuff.
Your mother did not send you out here on vacation.
And so far, you've been getting a free ride, a free ride in a fancy car.
And if you really want to do something nice for your mother...
why don't you show her you can do some work here?
- But, Aunt Viv... - No discussion.
Do you realize there's a bump forming back there?
All right, these are your assignments.
I'll do the turkey. Ashley, you do the cranberry sauce.
Carlton, you do the stuffing. Hilary, you do the yams and the rolls.
I get two things?
Why don't you just put a yoke around my neck and hitch me to a plow?
Hilary, I don't think it would be the worst thing in the world...
if you guys did some work around here.
I mean, you guys are getting a fancy ride, a fancy ride in a free car.
I'm sorry dinner's so late, Mr. Fellows.
That's okay.
I think in our society, we're too obsessed with time.
Save time. Don't waste time. Be on time.
What are we in such a hurry to do?
To eat.
Mr. Fellows, Carlton always talks about your English class.
- He said you were studying Shakespeare. - This is really exciting.
We're reading Hamlet. But to make it more relevant to the kids...
I'm teaching it to them in a rap version I wrote myself.
Oh, Lord.
Peep this.
"To be in effect...
"or not to be in effect?
"Slamming, man, on the questioning tip."
Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, dinner will be served in 10 minutes.
Excuse me.
What are you doing?
It seems that little Mr. Poppin' Fresh doesn't want to come out of his tube.
Perhaps this will persuade him.
Ashley, how's the cranberry sauce coming?
- All done. - Darn it!
- Nice going, Carlton! - Do you want to try to make this?
This stuffing is completely dry.
Look, do I have to do everything myself?
Carlton, this isn't exactly brain surgery.
When something is too dry, what do we do?
Cream of mushroom soup.
Pour.
Mix.
Can you do that?
- Hilary, did you check the yams? - For what?
Oh, my God.
Shall we say grace?
Dear Lord, for this food we are about to receive...
make us truly thankful.
Amen.
Let's start by serving our guest of honor.
- Mr. Fellows, care for some yams? - I'd love some.
Interesting. I've never had them before with this thick black crust.
It's Cajun style.
Hilary burned them.
They're just burned on top. Once you get underneath it...
they're totally charred.
How did you do that?
Mom, give Hilary a break.
I think she deserves some credit for putting out the fire.
Fire?
What else do we have?
That looks like cranberry sauce, Mr. Fellows.
- Lay it on me. - Allow me.
- It looks wonderful. Who made it? - I did, Mommy.
It's delicious.
Yeah, you'd never know Ashley dropped it on the floor.
What about the stuffing? Where's that been?
That's dope. Give it a try, Mr. Fellows.
Yeah.
Sure.
I made it, Mr. Fellows. I'm sure you'll find it of grade "A" quality.
- Speaking of A's... - Yes?
...Will is gonna get an "A" in my English class.
Congratulations, baby.
Do you have any news for my parents?
Not really.
So, how about that stuffing?
Serve yourself.
It looks... Looks great. Shall I pass it on?
No!
You can have all of that.
That's a good idea. Save lots of room.
Because we have a turkey roasted to perfection by yours truly.
- Would you do the honors, Uncle Phil? - Why, certainly.
It's frozen inside.
I'm sorry. I thawed it as much I could.
What am I supposed to do, sit on it all day?
Come on, Vi. The kids worked very hard on this.
Honey, "hard" is the word.
Let's see what food we can throw together.
I know, 'cause Bigfoot is growling.
Honestly, that dinner was a disaster!
That's not true. Mr. Fellows is out there drinking his second cup of stuffing.
This is certainly one for the books.
You know, Vi, you really hurt my feelings yesterday.
What are you talking about?
When you said I was spoiling Will and my kids.
I'm just trying to give them the things that we didn't have.
First of all, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Seems to me, when we were growing up...
I'd say a lot worse to you and you'd take it.
I don't know, I think living in California has made you sensitive.
I don't think I'm being sensitive, Vi. You basically called me a bad mother.
Baby, look...
I don't think you're a bad mother.
I never would've sent Will out here if I thought you were.
I don't blame you for wanting to give those kids everything we didn't have.
But you got to teach them how to work hard, too.
That's what I taught you.
You turned out pretty good.
I got to admit it, Vi, Philip says I'm too easy on them.
I guess they should have some more responsibilities.
It wouldn't kill them.
Food!
I wouldn't be taking my time in here.
- I'm on my way. - Here you go.
Ma, can I help you in here?
No, not from what I saw today. Please.
You got to learn how to cook before you go to college.
Yeah, Aunt Viv can teach me. She's a great cook.
She should be. I taught her.
And your mama didn't raise no fools.
So, you got an "A" in English?
Yeah.
They think I'm a genius.
You just keep working hard, genius.
When I leave here...
I want you to listen to your Aunt Viv, okay?
Yes, ma'am.
I have to say...
you guys did a terrible job with dinner tonight.
I wish I could've seen you cooking it.
Mom, you definitely would've been crying, straight up.
You make me laugh just thinking about it.
But you always did make me laugh.
I miss that.
I miss it, too.
English